i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Randomize
