I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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