She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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