Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
