Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize