scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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