the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
