so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
