I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just had sex on a roof
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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