got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
