this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
