happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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