I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
