i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
