should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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