and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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