Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
