we made out on top of his cat.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
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