Nicole vs. Life
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
