I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
