I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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