yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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