yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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