I just made out with a guy for $7.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
