I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize