I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
