how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
