I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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