I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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