So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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