No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
