she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
