I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
