I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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