tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
