Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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