a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
