walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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