just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
