Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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