Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
