broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
