so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
