Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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