i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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