The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
