You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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