That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i think my tv is drunk
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
50% drunk capacity currently
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
