When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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