just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize