White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
