Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
