chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
