She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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