There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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