If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
