i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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