have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
