Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
