she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
