dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
