Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
