some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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